[COOL SHIT] Canoe Home Accessories

There are many reasons why I subscribe only to men's magazines (GQ and Details, to be specific).  But the main reason is because where women's magazines are condescending to their readers, men's magazines provide you with useful information to lead a better, more well-rounded life.  

Women's magazines give you beauty tips, sex tips, and the occasional terrifying story about ovarian cancer.  "745 ways to please your man?"  I could obviously care less about that shit.  

So, in this month's issue of Details, I came across Canoe, a home furnishing store based out of Portland, Oregon. 

And man, do they have some cool shit.

The product featured in the magazine was this carafe with an ice pouch built in.  It's perfect for keeping your wine chilled, but not having to put ice cubes directly into the wine like your trashy Aunt Trisha.  At $30, it's a steal.

This set of Mori Sake Cups ($48) looks aesthetically-pleasing, but the ridges on the cup are actually designed to fit your fingers when you're drinking.  Pinky up!  You look so dainty.

Unless you love the sound of music coming out of crappy Macbook speakers (and running the risk of one of your stupid friends spilling beer all over it), you might want to invest in some kind of speaker system.  The Tivoli Model One ($150) looks old school and beautiful, but it also accommodates iPods.

Proof that all kids' decor doesn't have to be obnoxious, these teak animals are adorable, if not pretty expensive.  The monkey is $180, the duckling is $130.  But shit, how can you argue with this description: "Guaranteed to not run amok or smell bad, this is one monkey that is very easy to live with."

When I first saw this notebook ($45), I was all like, "Who the fuck wants to carry around some plywood in their bag?"  I'm not Paul Bunyan over here, for Christ's sakes.  But then, I realized that it offers the perfect surface for writing while on-the-go.  Also, I could probably use it as a weapon on the subway, if necessary (it's always necessary). 

And finally, proof that you can't win them all, a CONDOM DISPENSER ($42).  Look, I'm not going to pretend I know very much about safe sex because lesbian sex is kind of a gray area that's never addressed in any sex ed classes outside of some creepy references to dental dams, but WHAT would you do if a guy had this on his nightstand?

The description from the website puts it perfectly, I suppose: "In your younger days you may have carried around a condom in your wallet with a naive hope that you'd actually need it. Well, you're all grown up now. Functional and straightforward, this 100% stainless steel dispenser safely stores this essential personal care item with characteristic German efficiency."

For more borderline offensive references to German efficiency and wine carafes, follow me on Twitter @amandawaas