BEFORE PICS

 Ok, so just for documentation purposes, I'm realizing we need to get these "Before" pics up of our new house in cal-if-or-n-i-a pronto. Why, you might wonder? BECAUSE SHIT HAPPENS FAST AROUND HERE, PPL...THAT'S WHY. 

I'm sorry that all of these pics look like they were taken by a 76-year-old woman who just had cataracts surgery...the quality is le shit.  

Anyhoo, before I start dropping Instas all of your faces of all my new furniture, you need to see what this joint looked like BEFORE. 

Ah, before. 

For me, this is like that moment that an artist is sitting there in front of their blank canvas, paint squeezed on palette, paintbrush aloft, and then BOOM. Shit starts to go down. This whole new having a car sitch and being able to drive, anywhere, anytime, is seriously danger zone central. How do you people stop yourself from just spending a billion dollars a day??

After making besties with my compadres at Santiago's network of inter-connected thrift stores on Lankershim yesterday (thanks for the secret LA shopping tips, Emily Henderson), I somehow convinced them to sell me 3 kickass pieces of furniture for $800. After slipping the sweet nephew delivery dude an extra $20, he's sworn that he will always give me the "best best best" prices every time I come back. It's been 24 hours, and I'm ready to come back.

Ok, so here are some before shots. I did not take any of these, and they all have that annoying fisheye lens effect, but that's what happens when you let the Air BnB photog take over your show. 

Here are the specs of the house: 

• 1800 square feet
• 2 bedrooms, 1 bath, LR, den, dining room, crazy ass deck with crazy ass view, garage
• Spanish/tuscan style

So here's the thing: this house is dripping with charm. I'm talking eat a bowl of Lucky charms, while wearing a charm bracelet and watching a marathon of the never got it's due, Shannen Doherty classic TV show "Charmed," and you'll just meeeeeybe start to scratch the surface of the charm that's goin over here. BUUT, it's also not totally my style. There's a very mustard yellow, sandy, dark wood, Tuscan thing going on here that I really don't dig. Also, we've got a fireplace sitch that makes my skin crawl: multi-color bricks. I want to paint that shit all white so bad, my eyes twitch everytime I walk by.

There's tile floor (that should be spanish tile, but isn't) mixed with wood, so thank gawd I don't have any gross carpet to contend with. The curtains are all a way big no go for me, and the light fixtures are mostly bad, sometimes offensive, and in a couple of instances ok. 

But we're renting this place. So mama needs to start making some tough decisions about what we fix, paint, update, etc. We're here for at least a year (maybe more) but also maybe not. So this one is slightly tricky. 

Anyway, here are your before pics...have at em. 

I'll start to post our progress as we go (as well as more of the house including the kitchen, bedrooms, etc). 

CAL-IF-FOR-NUUUUUH (SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE OC THEME SONG)

Ok, ppl. I'm here! I made it!

And I kind of feel like I just got dropped off from my maximum security prison cell (with no window) into the swimming pool of the Beverly Hills Hotel. THIS PLACE IS MOTHERFUCKING PARADISE! WHAT WAS I THINKING SLUMMING IT IN NYC ALL THOSE YEARS!?

All of you LA people have cracked the Da Vinci Code, or know "The Secret" or are just plain way the hell smarter than everyone else on planet Earth. Because right now I'm feeling like I can't even believe that I just got onto a plane on Sat and landed here in la la...and now just have this amazing, fantabulous, big time baller life. 

Case in point, shine your peepers on some of my Instagrams this week. Here is a quick list of the shit that has gone down in like only 3 days:  

• We live in this kickass, adorable, spanish house in the hills of Studio City. Sure when I lived here 13 years ago the idea of living in the 818 was akin to social suicide, but times have changed. And now the valley is, dare I say it, kind of cool. Ish at least. And if there is ANY part of the valley that can get away with even associating itself with the word "cool" without getting punched in the dick, Studio City is it. I know I promised up and down that I would never start another blog, but as a sidenote, Studio City seems to have nada in the way of cool blogs, so maaaaaaaaybe. But so far, I'm loving the shit out of it here. 
• Ollie flew on a plane and made it here...and he didn't die and I didn't die.
• I got a car. Holy shit, I OWN A CAR. Well, lease one, actually, but still: maje! Watch out drivers of Los Angeles. And I can just talk to my car and tell it to do shit. Like there is this little button on the steering wheel and when you press it, it goes beep and then you say shit like: "Call Ninedaves" and beep boop beep bop, two seconds later it's just making the phonecall for me. I live in LA now, ppl...I ain't got time for shit like dialing phones.
• I have a washer...and a dryer. They wash and dry my things for free!
• And a garage! I can store stuff in there. You know, in case I run out of space in my house...that is 3.5 times the size of my apartment. Not counting our deck. Anyone want to store some shit? No problemo! I've got space to share! Just kidding! IT'S ALL MINE!
• I went shopping at the beautiful supermarket (and yes, I know calling Ralph's "beautiful" is as ridiculous as calling the valley "cool" but stick with me for a moment). We bought 15 bags of shit and I didn't have to carry any of it! I just loaded it into cart, then into my swanky car, drove it back up to my swanky house, and then had ENOUGH ROOM ON MY KITCHEN COUNTERS TO PUT ALL THAT SHIT DOWN! And enough room in my fridge! Oh, and if I didn't have enough room, we have another refrigerator in the garage to put shit in. No big whoop (I.E. BIGGEST FUCKING WHOOP IN THE HISTORY OF ALL WHOOPS). 
• I have a beautiful deck, with a beautiful view, where I can sit in a pillowed chair, stare at mountains and surf on the internet. Basically, my deck is my new office. THIS IS THE KIND OF PARADISE THAT THEY WROTE ABOUT IN THE BIBLE. 
• I could fit like...uhm...5 people in my bathroom comfortably. Why would I want to fit 5 people in there, you might be wondering? That is none of your business! I just wanted you to know that it was an option, yo!
• I live 11 minutes away from my bestie cuz Meri, and like 10 mins away from my bestie bro Ted, and I live within walkind distance of Marshalls! And within a few mins of every other major big box store that I'm obvz completely and totally obsessed with. 
• I can eat In-n-Out whenever I damn well please.
• I'M SO BLOWN AWAY BY ALL THIS SHIT, I CANNNNN'T STOP USING CAPS. HELP ME STOP USING CAPS. I WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE FACE SO HARD. 

ANYONE WANNA BUY OUR FURNITURE?

image via William Brinson PhotographyYep, as part of this whole LA move sitch, we're selling a bunch of our furniture. I made a Pinterest board...as I tend to do with all things in my life. So if you wanna take a look, head on ovah there. 

I'm selling: 

*The brown velvet upholstered banquette (with storage under each bench!) pictured left.
*A fab brown leather Chesterfield sofa from ABC Carpet
*A mirrored West Elm coffee table
*Calypso Home woven wood bench
*Gigantic wicker basket that I scored at Brimfield
*some cool side tables 

I'm in NYC, but could look into shipping anything anywhere, of course. Hit me up with any questions at ericareitman@gmail.com

Uhm, You Guys: I'M MOVING TO LOS ANGELES!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So excited!

A new house to decorate!

And we'll get to hang with my brother! And cousins! And nieces! And go to the Rose Bowl EVERY damn month! And eat delicious mexican food! And In-n-Out Burger! And drive a real car! And maybe our dog Oliver won't have such bad allergies! And maybe I'll start drinking green juice and stop being so fat! And walk up Runyon Canyon every day! And become besties with Reza from Shahs of Sunset! And turn into one of those people who posts on my E. Coast friends' facebook walls with messages like "Enjoy the snowstorm! It's 70 and sunny here, sucka!"

And yeah...I'm pretty stoked.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

Do you sometimes wonder "what if?" Do you look back with longing? Do you wonder about what could have been? 

Yeah, me the hell too. 

I didn't buy this amazing 10x12" tiger rug that was only $150 fucking dollars when I went to the Rose Bowl a couple of months ago with my cousin Meri, and I'm pretty sure it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. 

Ok, maybe that's a bit dramatic. 

M-A-Y-B-E.

I'm still not sure. 

But I still think about it. And I know it's bizarro, and way over the top, but I'm pretty sure I could have rocked it pretty hard. 

It's the one that got away. 

STANDING UP FOR BASSET HOUNDS

Ok, so if you know anything at all about me, you''re probably aware of at least two things: 

1. I'm addicted to Diet Coke
2. I'm obsessed with my Basset Hound Oliver

Now here's the thing: over the last decade or so, the design world at large has seriously embraced the idea of animals. Safari animals, cutesy animals, bizarre animals--you can find em everywhere. On fabric, in paintings, as little tchotchkes on people's coffee tables, on needlepoint canvases, etc. And dogs have certainly enjoyed their meteoric rise to fame throughout this whole process. 

BUT, for some reason, certain types of dogs are featured in design shit waaaaay the hell more than all others. And if you, like me, are an owner of a dog whose breed never ever ever seems to find its way onto a goddamned throw pillow, I feel your pain.

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It's Fun To Think About Summer When It's Cold As Balls Out

Soft Swells - Summer Song - Music - More Music Videos

This is a video by a rad band called Soft Swells, who I was introduced to by my brother.

He's good friends with the lead singer Tim Williams, and was always talking about his music. Whenever this happens, in any iteration in my life, I find that I go and listen to the music (look at the artwork, read the blog, check out the book) of the the mysterious friend, and then almost always end up thinking "meh." This is usually followed by weeks of attempting to dodge the topic at all costs in order to avoid an awkward conversation. 

But in Soft Swell's case, I was happily surprised that I really loved their music. And they just keep getting more and more kick ass reviews (i.e. this shit is probably going to blow up soon, so you better get on board now). They were in Brooklyn a few weeks ago performing at a local spot here in Park Slope and I was able to go hear them in person: and yep, I still thought they were awesome. 

Anyway, it snowed today, and now it's rainy and cold so it's nice to think about summer. Also this entire video was shot at my brother Ted's house in LA, so that's kind of fun. You might notice that the view of LA from his deck is amazeballs to the power of sick. I know...I hate him for it too. 

Follow Soft Swells on Facebook and the Twitter.

HOSTESS GIFTS THAT DON'T SUCK

You know how every single solitary time you get invited over to someone's place for dinner, or for a holiday party, or for a booty call, you always bring over a bottle of wine? Right, well that's kind of nice, but also boring as hell. Bringing wine is basically the equivalent of saying: "I appreciate the fact that you made me kale salad and artisanal tater tots, but I don't have enough time to think about an original gift, so here's the $25 bottle of wine that Max at that wine shop on 7th Ave recco'd cause he said, even though he never tried it, ppl were saying that "it was pretty good." 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Anyway, if you're looking to break out of your Hostess gift-giving rut, here are a few ideas that you can totally copy, and then take all the credit for thinking up. 

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