[ROUND-UP] What You Should Buy for a Hoarder

You can learn a lot about someone by what they have in their DVR.  Do they have a lot of So You Think You Can Dance? and Real Housewives of whatever bullshit city they're doing now?  GAY.  Do they have a lot of Gossip Girl and teen vampire shows?  PEDOPHILE.

But, as always, some people defy snap judgements and general categorization.  If you could describe someone who has 30 Rock, Pawn Stars, Jeopardy, Millionaire Matchmaker, Intervention, Heavy, and Hoarders in her DVR in one word, what would it be?      

Obviously the answer here is "CRAZY." 

But whatever's in your DVR, I truly believe that you can become an expert on whatever topic you want just by watching a certain number of episodes of a show centered around it. 

That is why, after watching six terrifying hours of Hoarders last weekend (followed by 3 hours of cleaning my entire apartment, throwing away things I shouldn't have thrown away, and sitting on the floor itching and twitching), I am now an expert on hoarders and their behavior.  

So, it's now that I am a certified expert, I can do a round-up on things you should buy a hoarder.  You know, to help 'em out and maybe unearth the 400 dead cats they have under that trash pile.  

So, here's what you should buy for a hoarder:

Hope this helped.

Comments

[Rae]

Hah! That is effing hilarious. Well done.