[HOW TO] Order Flowers Like You Know WTF You're Doing

For a brief moment in time, I really really wanted to be a floral designer (that's an arrangement I did a few years ago).

I've always just had a knack with flowers, and after making bouquets and arrangements for friends for many years, someone finally said to me: YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THIS FOR REALZ. So, I took a ton of classes, spent many mornings at the flower market and then realized: oopsie. I have no desire to wake up early every morning of my life, work weekends and deal with bridezillas all the live long day. So yeah... I just let that dream die.

Howevs after reading about and studying tons of other floral designers (AND working for the real life Mr. Big who constantly ordered beautiful arrangements of flowers for all sorts of peeps all over the world), I *did* learn a trick or two along the way. So I thought I'd share all the shit I know...

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[I'M OBSESSED] Neon Flowers

photo: oh joy!What a killer idea! Over on Oh Joy! I learned that gorgeous mums look even more gorge when your wrap them with neon gaffers tape.

LOVE. THIS. IDEA. DOT. COM

How fab would this be at a shower, or even at a special dinner party? [HINT: v. fucking fab!]. Click on over there & see for yourself.

[BODEGA FLOWERS] Hot Pink Carnations

Twice a month, I'll take you on a journey...a journey to your bodega. We will buy flowers there. These flowers will cost less than $20 smackers. I will arrange them for you, (all by my damn self) and hopefully, they won't look ghey. Maybe you'll join me one day. If not, whatevs. On tap this week: Hot pink carnations!

Ok, so everyone usually hates the shit out of carnations, and I mostly get it. When you compare a carnation to a peony, it looks like a homeless person. BUT, here's the thing: 1. carnations are cheap as shit AND 2. carnations are hearty. Those fuckers could practically survive a nuclear winter.

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