[WHO GIVES A SHIT] Do You Like PB Teen?

Do you like PB Teen? Cause, holy shit, I LOVE IT SO HARD.

It's like I know these bitches are trying to appeal to 14-year-olds, but I dont' care...I like it too! I mean, yes: there is a crapload of stuff that I would not feel comfortable rocking unless I also had Justin Bieber posters on my wall, but also there is genuinely some chic, CHEAP ass stuff there that could look great in my apt (mostly accessories and accent furniture, but still). If you can ignore the puffy paint, glue stick, dorm room prop styling and wade through, I promise you'll find some gems. And also if I throw the PB Teen box out as soon as it arrives, and don't tell anyone (oops), no one will be the wiser.

CONTINUE READING

[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Shopping Together

Somehow the first time I ever went furniture shopping with Greg, we were already married. I guess before that we had each just had some stuff, and I mixed in my stuff with his stuff and that was that. But the time came, and on a dark, gloomy night in November, we made our way to Crate & Barrel in search of a couch.

I envisioned us skipping through the store, laughing over orange sectionals and inappropriately large chairs that would never fit in our space. We were there for a couch, but maybe we'd find a great serving plate...or cool martini glasses and decide to go for it! We're married! Frank Sinatra music would be playing over the store's speaker system, and maybe in a particularly inspired moment, my new husband would ask me dance.

CONTINUE READING

[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Judging A Book By Its Cover

Look: I appreciate the original sentiment behind the idea of NOT judging a book by its cover but here's the thing: I ALWAYS JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER. Like I mean A-L-W-A-Y-S.

And, quite frankly, the idea that I shouldn't be judging a book by its cover is sort of annoying to me now. Cause I think if you are writing a book, you best be spending a fuckload of time with your publisher making sure your cover looks kick-ass. And if you're a publisher, I'm guessing you already spend bucketfulls of cash money on a staff of peeps hired for the express purpose of churning out cool covers. So can we just let this shit die already?

CONTINUE READING

[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Furniture Sets

Ok, if I'm being really down-n-dirty honest: there are few things in the world that make me want to vomit all of my keyboard more than furniture sets. I absolutely HATE THEM.

I hate bedroom sets, I hate living room sets, and I even kind of hate dining room sets (though that is the one type of "set" I can at least tolerate).

CONTINUE READING

[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Makin' Whoopee

Why beat around the bush? We may as well get right into it, riiight? Ok, so here it is: aside from your bedroom/bed, where is your fave place in your house/apt/trailer to get it awn?

I seriously considered adding a "baum chicka baum baum" tag, but then decided against it.

Anyway, don't be shy.

[And feel free to go stealth anon in the commments if you're a pussy like that].

CONTINUE READING