10 Reasons You Should Immeds Audition For HGTV's Design Star

Ok, so HGTV is casting for its next season of Design Star and you know who should totally try out??? YOU!

I'm serious, ppl. Many of you have blogs and some of them actually don't suck! You could be the next Emily! Or the next Nina! OR, if you're a deeply closeted male hoping to bury your sexuality even deeper into the closet via a faux engagement, you could be the next Courtland!

As for me, I prefer to be a coward and hide behind the safety and comfort of my macbook air. But in the hopes of encouraging all y'all, I thought I'd come up with a list of the top 10 reasons you [insert name here] should try out for HGTV's Design Star!

10. If you have nice boobs, it's fun to show them off on TV!

Even if its cold out, just wear low cut tops and accessorieze with SCARFS! So it's like you're "trying" to be demure, but then not really by making everyone look at your cleave! Based on Nina's rotating collection of boobshotz from last season, your rack might be seen by billions millions thousands tens of us. FUN!

9. You won't have to do any challenges in your bathing suit on national television (probs!)

I mean, I think this is true based on what's gone done in years past. Though, in truth, I actually can't promise that there won't be a "Bikini Basement" challenge next year, so maybe we should just move on to the next one).

8. We have pizza cones in NYC! And gourmet grilled cheese restaurants! AND PRETZEL CROISSANTS!

You're not wearing a bathing suit, ppl so whoooo carrrreeeezzzz! I mean probably!.

7. All group competitions all the time, means you can skate through most of the show, even if you have no clue what the fuck you're doing! Or no talent!

Just develop your "signature move" (like I would suggest something like drawing floor stencils of Disney characters or uhm, painting everything in your rooms with black and white stripes). Then you just do your "signature move" again and again and it like totally scrambles the judges brains! And they'll wonder if they're "missing something" with you! And they TOTALLY WILL BE, but they won't be able to figure out that what they're missing is that you maybe suck! And so they'll just keep you around cause you suck just as much as everyone else does, but you keep drawing stencils of Mickey Mouse on the floor, and all the bloggers and twatters won't stop talking about you.

6. You might meet some hot people.

Like this dude Dan Faires. And trust me, after all my bitching in the recaps when I was making fun of all the girls for getting hot-n-bothered every time he walked into the room, I met him my damn self. HOLY CANNOLI. I'm *still* hot-n-bothered by the whole thing, and this shit went down about 2 mos ago. So yeah.

Anyway. What were we talking about??

5. YOU COULD WIN YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING TV SHOW!

True we *are* talking HGTV here, but let me ask you this: what network is your TV show on right now?? That's what I thought.

4. If you have a blog, way more people will go to it.

Myself included...pinky swears! Even if its to comb through your archives to find embarrassing shit that I need to steal and post in my weekly recap...I WILL GO THERE. Maybe even a lot!

3. Genevieve Gorder said so

And she kinda scares me a little bit...so you should maybe just listen to her and not ask questions.

2. WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE, YOU WILL BE BETTER DRESSED THAN CANDICE.

Like waaaaaaaaaay. Trust.

1. WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU ARE, YOU ARE A MILLION BILLION TIMES MORE TALENTED THAN VERN.

Like waaaaaaaaaay. Trust.

Ok, so there you have it. Who's in??? Are you ppl applying for this shit OR WHAT???