Big Ass Coffee Tables

Have you ever tried sourcing a giganto round coffee table? 

I sincerely hope not, because THERE AREN'T ANY FUCKING GIGANTO ROUND COFFEE TABLES ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET!

I'm pretty sure you'd have a better chance of running into a unicorn sitting on the tooth fairy's lap getting a scalp massage from Santa, than you would finding a half way decent round coffee table that is larger than 42" diameter and doesn't cost a million dollars. 

Now, I'm sure you can have these things custom made, and I'm sure you can find old ones that are kinda big, but why in the h e double hockey sticks is hardly any one making fab big coffee tables??

Here's a "mondo large round" coffee table from Overstock.com. It's completely wrong for my project, but also it's only 39." Since when did thirty-nine inches become "mondo large"?? I wrote in to Overstock to suggest that they rename this mofo the "mondo medium" coffee table. No one has written me back yet. 

Here's a perfectly lovely coffee table from Crate & Barrel, buuuuut it's only 39.5" wide.

Peep your eyes on a carved wood coffee table from West Elm. Just make sure you only peep them 32" wide, cause that's all you'll need for this sucker. 

Here's a black granite number from Home Decorators, but you guessed it: it's only 42". 

The space I'm sourcing the table for is a living room that is 20 x 20 with 18 foot ceilings. A 42" coffee table looks like a friggin postage stamp. 

Ok, so who wants to start BIGASSCOFFEETABLES.COM with me??