[CATALOGGED] CB2's Spring 2011 Collection

CB2's Spring catalog is out and oddly enough, they're selling bikes now?

I don't quite understand, and if I were to buy a bike, it would be from a bike shop, not from a store that sells those creepy side plates with the little stick figure monsters eating things.

If you're going into a homegoods store to purchase something that requires you wear a helmet, rethink your life choices.

Regardless of this bike nonsense, they do have some nice new pieces to check out.

Think about how many people you encounter in your daily life who always want to say no to everything you ask. "No, you can't have a raise," "No, your tox screen didn't come up clean," "No, we're not having sex at the bus station"—everyone always wants to say no!  I say, say yes!  You never know what could happen!  It's probably something bad, but whatever.  Hang up these giant "YES" letters and highlight your new life philosophy for everyone to see.  Whenever anyone tries to say "no" to you, point to these letters and ask them to read them aloud.  "Yes" people always win.  Don't you want to win?  I thought so.

Every dbag always uses the phrase, "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" and then everyone politely laughs because it's never funny, but it's supposed to be.  Let me say this: I worked in a kitchen from the time I was 14 years old until I was 22 (no, it wasn't legal, thanks).  When you were "behind the line" (which is kitchenspeak for when you're surrounded by ovens and grills and fryers) on a particularly hot July night, the temperature can literally get up to 102 degrees.  It's literally like working in an oven.  One time, I passed out from heat exhaustion and woke up the walk-in cooler.  You see, my co-workers were nice enough to get me somewhere cool, but not nice enough to stay with me until I woke up to find myself propped up on a box of romaine lettuce.  NOTHING ABOUT THAT IS FUNNY.  This tray serves as a reminder of the battle scars I accrued while working in that stupid sauna.  Also, it's kind of cute.

I often say to myself, "Hey, I would really like to make my bedroom look more urban and artsy without throwing away all of my Ralph Lauren shirts."  This "Fresh Ink" duvet straddles the line between artsy and ridiculous.  Maybe you could trick someone you're trying to sleep with into thinking that you've been inside an art museum for something other than the free wine at the opening receptions.