[LINKED] You're Welcome

I've been noticing a lot of things about myself lately.

1. I really enjoy it when white people do acoustic covers of rap songs.

2. I love capitalism.

What better way to celebrate my love of capitalism and gangsta rap with the launch of my very own website devoted to all of the great shit you can buy for other people?

Answer?  There's no better way. 

And so, I bring you You're Welcome.

Let’s set the scene: a loved one’s birthday is coming up.  You ask them what they want.  And they, of course, say the worst possible words a gift giver could ever hear.

“Oh, I don’t want anything.”

You might as well just kill yourself right then and there, because really, what you're being told is, "I expect the most spectacular gift in the history of the world that will simultaneously reflect how well you know me and how much you love me but I'm not going to give you even the tiniest hint as to what it should be." 

So, I'm taking the round-ups on the road.  You're Welcome will offer obnoxious posts featuring unique stuff you can buy, and advice on gift giving for every possible situation you’ll come across (Christmas and Father's Day, estranged family members' weddings and assorted accidental pregnancies), guaranteeing that you will no longer spend hours wandering the aisles of a department store searching for a gift when all you want to do is sit in a dark room with a bottle of vodka. 

Because really, giving the perfect gift to someone is like standing on top of a mountain and shouting, "HEY EVERYONE, I'M NOT AN EMOTIONAL CRIPPLE!"

And sometimes, despite your obvious, unavoidable emotional retardation, you can surprise people with how sweet and thoughtful you can be.     

Really, you can.  Come on over.

PS: Thanks to Erica for supporting this obnoxious attempt at shameless self-promotion.