Trolling For Hook-ups On Pinterest

I'm married and old, so I don't know about these real-world type things, but my guess is: there are quite a few of you out there who are really good at trolling for action online. 

Now, duh: I know all about Grindr, and Youporn, and OK Stupid and the like, but the only place I really like to troll for action is on Pinterest.

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Will Pinterest Kill The Photo Round-Up?

There are about 879 reasons that I am not the supreme ruler of the universe design blogger, but #1 with a bullet is this: I cannot STAND doing photo round-ups. Like, I FUCKING HATE THEM. 

I'm totally fine searching for one fab photo. Searching for two photos makes me angry. If I have to search for three or more photos, I wanna punch a baby directly in its face. So doing round-ups, mood boards, inspiration boards--whatever you wanna call them--that's pretty much my kryptonite.

Which isn't to say that I don't love looking at them, cause I totally do. These round-up boards have become celebrity superstars in the world of lifestyle blogging over the past few years. And some of you ppl are *seriously* good at putting those mofos together (Life's Little Jems, Mrs Lilien, and Mimi+Meg come to mind). If we're being honest, having the ability to do these round-ups, and do them well, pretty much puts you in a class above the rest in the world of blogging. It's kinda like learning to drive stick--you don't *have* to know how to do it in order to drive, but if you do, you have many more options available to you, and also you're just way the hell cooler.

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10 THINGS PINTEREST SHOULD DO RIGHT NOW

You know how sometimes you have a friend that you really, really love and care about, but they keep doing stupid shit that's like an 11 on a scale of 1-10, and it kinda makes you wanna punch them in the face? But you can't cause you LOVE THEM, and they mean the world to you, and if they would just stop doing the stupid shit, you would forget about it forever and just go right back to being besties, and never, ever mention it again?

Right, well that's kinda how I'm feeling about Pinterest lately.

Truth time: there is literally not a single website, service, or platform that has EVER come along in the history of my internet browsing days that has excited me, and....well fine, fulfilled me as much as Pinterest.  I'm not being melodramatic here. I love the living shit out of it. 

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PINTER-JUDGMENT

verb. The act of judging someone favorably or unfavorably based on their Pinterest boards.

"I hate to go there already with that new design blogger chick, but I pre-pinter-judged her boards, and they're totally amateur hour."

OR

"Based on my prelim pinter-judgment of the photo stylist's boards, she's completely legit...we share a white floor obsession."

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What do My Pinterest Boards Say About Me?

As if you weren't concerned enough about my Pinterest obsession already, now I bring you this: sometimes I think about what people will assume about me based on what they could deduce by looking at all of my Pinterest boards...and whether or not these things are true. And also whether or not I should be concerned about these things.

Cause a lot of the shit that I think a perfect stranger would assume about me is like a billion percent false. So I thought I would compile a list to make it easier for all my pinterest friends to understand the true essence of moi.

Herewith is a list of shit you might assume to be true about me if you just knew me via Pinterest. I will include a TRUE/FALSE after each item to let you know what the real deal is:

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