[AYFKMWTS] Mountain-Top Estates

So remember how I'm kind of obsessed with getting a weekend "country house" up in the Catskills?

Right, so this obsession manifests itself probably once a week or so, and when it does, it generally results in one to 9 hours (oopsie...I couldn't sleep that night) of online real estate research. During my latest real estate porn bender, somewhere between drooling over a cute little cottage in Phoenecia within walking distance of Sweet Sue's and a cabin in Woodstock that was only 45k but had no bathroom, I came across this place.

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Now this place is a rental, but MOTHERFUCK! I want to be deep, deep inside it right...the hell...N-O-W.

According to the ad on homeaway.com, it's a "spectacular, modern, mountain-top estate." But wait, there's more:

6 Bedrooms, 6 and 1/2 Bathrooms, Sleeps 12+, Movie Theater, 150 Acres, Skiing

This stunning 10,000' contemporary home on 150 acres is the ultimate in luxury and privacy. If you like hiking, movies, fly-fishing, cooking, skiing or floating down a lazy river [UHM, YES! YES I DO!], this is the perfect four-season place for you [HOLY SHIT, YOU'RE RIGHT!] - just 2 hours from NYC! From the moment you drive through the private gate [YOU KNOW THIS BITCH HAS A VIDEO CAMERA AT THE GATE TOO, SO YOU CAN MAKE SURE NO POOR PPL GET IN] and start up the mile-long drive, you know you have arrived somewhere special. Enjoy the 6 unique bedrooms [NO BEDBUGS HERE, I BET!], huge dining room with fireplace, game room with 270-degree views w/ arcade games [270 DEGREE VIEWS OF THE ARCADE GAMES, OR???], ping pong, or billiards. Exercise in either the full gym or the 1200' yoga studio [DUHSIES: I'M BRINGING MY FULL-TIME TRAINER!]. Watch movies on an 18' screen with stadium seating for 13 and 7.2 THX sound [DO YOU THINK I COULD ACTUALLY INVITE PPL OVER FOR MOVIES AND THEN CHARGE THEIR ASSES TO HELP ME PAY FOR THIS PLACE??]. Make a gourmet meal in a professional kitchen that includes every amenity including a wood-fired pizza oven and indoor BBQ [ONE QUESTION: HOW MANY LOBSTERS CAN YOU FIT ON THAT FUCKER???]. Grill on the cliffs [HUNH? THIS HOUSE IS ON A CLIFF? RAD!] or feed the koi in one of two ponds [FUCK THE MOTHERFUCKING KOI! UNLESS THEY LIKE TO EAT LOBBBBSTTTERR!] + 3 acres of lawns. Whether for a vacation, a corporate retreat, or a unique and intimate wedding, this estate will afford you an experience you will never forget [I ALREADY THINK I'LL NEVER FORGET IT AND I'VE ONLY SEEN PICS...IN FACT I NOW NEED HELP FORGETTING IT CAUSE I JUST LOOKED AROUND MY 700 SFT APT AND NOW I NEED SOME FUCKING WELLBUTRIN. THANKS FOR RUINING MY LIFE, SPECTACULAR, MODERN, MOUNTAIN-TOP ESTATE].

Anywayz, this place is only $10k a week...which is only $520,000/year! Which is still not even remotely close to the amount you would need for a down payment on K Wearst's house!

Yeah, so I think this is all just proof that clearly the universe meant for me to be rully, rully rich.