[AYFKMWTS] Real Estate Websites

Ok, yeah: so I got some crazy idea in my head that me-n-Greg should maybe look into buying a vacation house in upstate NY.

Will we *actually* be able to do this? Based on the fact that I can't stop buying shit on Gilt,who the hell knows. But thanks to the internet, any chump like me is given the keys to kingdom with a plethora of helpful, well-designed, gorgeously photographed real estate websites that you can access online to easily and seamlessly seek out the property of your XXX-rated real estate fantasies wherever you want! Only, uhm....NOT. LIKE NOT AT ALLLLLLL.

In case you 've just been hanging out on Corcoran.com or BrownHarrisStevens.com lately (2 high-end, hottie, hott, hott NYC real estate websites), and you think that all sites look like those, I'm here to tell you that you're totally fucking wrong.

Like take a look at the site above that ONLY WORKS ON INTERNET EXPLORER. Uhm, if your site only works on IE:

A. You are totally fucking retarded

B. I will never, ever, never, never, NEVER buy anything from you. E-V-E-R.

I've been looking for houses in upstate NY and in the Catskills over the last couple of months, and I've been on a shitload of local real estate sites. Here's what I've mostly seen:

• Blurry photos. And I mean, BLUH-RRY, i.e. shit that looks like this.
• HORRENDOUSLY designed and poorly laid out websites, circa 2001 geocities templates (see above). I mean, if your site only works on Internet Explorer, I immediately want to buy NOTHING from you. Like ever, ever, never.
• Tiny photos (uhm, newsflash: I know I can "click to enlarge," but when the photos are so tiny that I can't even see wtf is going on, I have no DESIRE to "click to enlarge").
• Photos full of clutter, clutter and more clutter. I mean, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, PEOPLE??? Put the goddamned Sweet Little Ones figurine collection away in the basement for two secs, okay? And while I appreciate that someone in your household obviously has a deep and unabiding love for the Washington Redskins, I could do without seeing your "football themed rumpus room" in all its red and gold glory glorious nastiness.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure these real estate agents (and sellers!) are all literally losing hundreds of thousands of dollars every year because of these lame ass mistakes...doncha think?? And I guess when you get right down to it, most of this shit is photography related, but here's what all you people are missing: if the pictures look killer for all of your property listings, you'll get more people coming to look at them, more people making offers, and even MORE MONEY for your purchase prices. YES REALLY! You can even make shit look waaaay better then it actually looks, with a couple of pretty pictures!

Making Every Pixel Count:

"Eighty percent of people across the country who bought a new home last year used the Internet while house hunting, and they rated photographs as the most useful tool in their search, according to a survey of buyers and sellers by the National Association of Realtors."

OH, YOU DON'T SAY???

And this article was from 2007! I would guess that percentage of online real estate searchers is probably up to north of 90% now that we're in 2K10.

So, yeah: get your shit together real estate agents...cause this scene is seriously embarrassing.

And, back to your shitty websites I go...

Comments

[LisaD]

HA! Yeah, if a site only works on IE, I'm with you: not shelling out the bucks to buy ANYTHING from those people. LOL.