[CATALOGGED] Crate & Barrel: Spring 2010

Crate and Barrel's Spring 2010 catalog just arrived and apparently, the theme of this season is ORANGE.  Orange vases, orange couches, orange pillows—orange EVERYTHING.  Listen, I like bright colors, and I like orange—it's retro and fun—but I don't want my apartment to look like I'm living inside a goddamned tangerine. Take note, C&B, take note.

Anyway, here are my top faves from this collection:

Classical Symmetry lithographs ($69.95 each):  So you're not rich enough to buy real art, but you're not poor enough to be okay with tacking up posters of Jenna Jameson or the 50 rules for crashing a wedding with Vince Vaughn?  BAM!  Buy some of these lithographs.  You could mix and match, or buy a bunch of the same to go with your color scheme.  Three would look nice in a row, and four would look great in a grid.  You'll be so classy. 

Petre Leather chair ($1,999): I have a thing for leather couches and club chairs, mainly because I'm a 60-year-old WASPY man in a 24-year-old lesbian's body.  Why do you think I have so many pairs of boat shoes and polo shirts?  This chair is beautiful and the orange adds a little more personality to the room than a classic brown leather.  Essentially, it says, "I may have the tastes of an old man, but I have the color pallate of a blind person," and frankly, I'm okay with that.  

Marin Bar Cabinet ($999): The jury is still out as to whether or not I'm actually an alcoholic, which may be why I love this bar so much.  As you can see, it folds up nicely into an unassuming cabinet.  Oh, what do you store in there?  BIBLES, OBVIOUSLY.  But then, you open it up, and it's party time!  Glasses, booze, useless citrus zesters and junk!  It's amazing.  What would be more amazing, though, would be that I would be able to stock an at-home bar with bottles of wine or alcohol instead of finishing them immediately after I open them.

Trovata Outdoor Lounge Collection ($1,299): Looks like we finally got away from the orange and skipped to my favorite color, red! It's the color of ANGER, or passion (depending on who you ask).  This is my favorite of all of the outdoor furniture collections offered up in this catalog, and it would definitely be something I would purchase if I had an outdoor space.  Instead, I have a fire escape that I share with my crazy, rent-controlled neighbor, whose old, moldy comforter that's piled up out there currently serves as a nest for squirrels.  I wish I was joking. 

Can I live in this catalog? 

Kthanxbai.