[COOL SHIT] Sportulas from Spoon Sisters

It may be a little too late for Father's Day, but the good part about fathers is that they always want presents but they will NEVER ask for them.

This is the conversation that happens with my father and I everytime Christmas, Father's Day, or his birthday rolls around:

Amanda: What do you want for [insert occasion here]?

Dad: ALL I WANT IS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU BUT YOU MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY AND ALL YOU DO IS YELL AT ME WHENEVER I CALL.

You too? Well, tell Dad you're sorry for always being a bitch whenever he calls because you're SO BUSY with these "Sportulas" from Spoon Sisters ($28).

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[COOKED] We Go Together Soup and Sandwich Plate

Cooked is a recurring column where obnoxious foodies can revel in various kitchen gadgetry porn.

One time, I was getting ready to go out on a Saturday night, and my former roommate and her friend were hanging out on the couch in our apartment.

As we said our goodbyes, she turned to her friend and said, "Hey, if you stay here late enough, you'll get to see Amanda come home shitfaced and try to make a grilled cheese!" 

Ever since I've moved to New York, my drunken ritual has been to stumble home and make a grilled cheese.  Why?  Because it's cheaper and healthier than constantly stopping for pizza or diner food at 2AM.  Sure, cooking on a gas stove while you're drunk isn't the smartest thing you can do, but whatever.  I've gotten pretty good at it, too.

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[Round-Up] Urban Picnic

The Fourth of July is upon us, and if you're going to be stuck in the city while people who are richer and prettier than you frolick on beaches and live out their holiday weekend like a Sag Harbor ad, don't resign yourself to some shitty barbeque with charred hot dogs and overcooked burgers.  Don't let yourself believe that the only time you'll spend outside is the few brief moments that you're on your fire escape right before you jump off.     

We've put together a round-up of cool picnic and BBQ accessories (or, acoutrements, if you will) that will help you make your urban picnic so successful that those jerks out in the Hamptons will be green with envy.  Who needs a beach house when you've got a crowded public park swarming with the dregs of society and a collapsible grill?  Am I right?  Am I right? 

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[COOKED] Intervention-ware

Cooked is a recurring column where obnoxious foodies can revel in various kitchen gadgetry porn. 

Last Christmas, my friend bought me a beautiful set of small side plates.  Each had beautiful illustrations on them, featuring one letter prominently. I loved them even more when I realized that the four plates spell out "FUCK" when lined up (hey, I never said I was classy). 

But these plates from Fish's Eddy are even worse, imploring you to feel guilty about everything you put in your mouth, with phrases like, "Do you really need that second helping?" and "For the love of God, stop eating." 

Basically, when you eat off of these plates you'll feel like a supermodel does every day of your life.  Does anyone know some pro-ana sites that I can send this link to?  I'm sure it'll be a hit.

Too far?  Sorry. 

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[COOKED] Brooklynese Cawffee Tawk

Cooked: where obnoxious foodies can revel in various kitchen gadgetry porn.  

When I was in college, I had a bunch of roommates who were Italian.  And by "were Italian," I mean, they were American and lived to castigate people for not saying Italian words correctly.  It's not "moz/er/ella" it's "MUTZARELLLLLLLLLLLLL."  Bitch, please.  Have you ever even been to Italy?  YOU'RE A FRAUD. 

Anyway, making fun of accents is fun, faux or not, and this Brooklynese Cawffee Tawk set from Fish's Eddy does all of the work for you. 

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