[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 8: Ding Dong Dining Room Disasters

OK, LOOK.

I SWORE IN MY LAST RECAP THAT IF HGTV DIDN'T GIVE US SOME MOTHERFUCKING INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, MY ENTIRE RECAP WAS GOING TO BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS AS A SHOW OF MY BP OIL SPILL SIZED FRUSTRATION WITH THIS NONSENSE. AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THERE WERE NO MOTHERFUCKING, COCK SUCKING, TIT BITCH INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE ARE ONLY FOURRRRR PEOPLE LEFT ON THIS BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR A DESIGN COMPETITION.

WE ARE EIGHT WEEKS INTO THIS B.S. AND I STILL HAVE NO CLUE IF ANY OF THESE DESIGNERS ARE CAPABLE OF PULLING OFF A ROOM BY THEMSELVES. SO YEAH...IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M SCREAMING AT ALL Y'ALL, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I SO FUCKING AM.

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I Loved The #MarthaBlogger Party More Than A Fat Kid Loves Cake

Way to ruin every networking party that I'll ever go to, like EVER AGAIN, Martha Stewart! Cause now I'm just gonna be comparing them all to #marthablogger's Blogger's Night Out. Holy shit that thing ruled my face so hard!

So, in case you've been living under a rock, Martha Stewart had a little bloggy blog bloggerson get together last night at her offices here in NYC. The who's who of the Bloggerati were invited, as well as some Bloggerati posers like moi, and we were all to gather on the scenic roofdeck for bloggy cocktails and blogacious light snacks.

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[WHO GIVES A SHIT?] Decorating With Your Pet In Mind

Ok, so I know there is a shitload of stuff out of there about decorating with kids in mind, but I have a dog and don't want any kids, so all that crap bores me.

HOWEVER, I had a srsly rude awakening after we got our dog Oliver, and I wish that someone had given us the real deal scoop before he came trotting through the front door. Now that we've had him for 7+ years, I'm happy to give YOU the real deal scoop, and the real deal scoop is this: IF YOU HAVE ANY FURNITURE, DECOR OR ACCESSORIES THAT DO NOT WORK WITH YOUR PET, GET RID OF IT IMMEDIATELY.

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[COOL SHIT] Sportulas from Spoon Sisters

It may be a little too late for Father's Day, but the good part about fathers is that they always want presents but they will NEVER ask for them.

This is the conversation that happens with my father and I everytime Christmas, Father's Day, or his birthday rolls around:

Amanda: What do you want for [insert occasion here]?

Dad: ALL I WANT IS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU BUT YOU MOVED TO NEW YORK CITY AND ALL YOU DO IS YELL AT ME WHENEVER I CALL.

You too? Well, tell Dad you're sorry for always being a bitch whenever he calls because you're SO BUSY with these "Sportulas" from Spoon Sisters ($28).

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[COOL OR NOT COOL?] Oyster Hanging Strands from West Elm

Usually, I have so many decided opinions that I leave everyone around me wishing that they didn't have ears. 

HOWEVER, I'm posting this edition of "Cool or Not Cool" because I really can't decide how I feel about these Oyster Hanging Strands from West Elm.

The description says they're perfect for "bringing the beach indoors," and we know how I feel about that, so I'm leaning more towards "not cool."

I mean, really—if you can answer the question, "Does this look like something Ariel from The Little Mermaid would use to decorate?" with a resounding "YES!" then you should probably leave it out of your home and back on the beach.

But after seeing them placed in a room, I'm undecided.  

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