[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 7: Come See The Softer Side of Courtland, Er, Sears

COURTLAND IS NOT GAY??

WHAAAAAAT????

It's kind of difficult to focus on much else this week after that fucking bombshell. I mean, I pretty much feel exactly like I did during the Crying Game when we finally find out that that chick was a dude. Except that I don't believe him for one red hot second.

I mean, who the fuck am I? And what the fuck do I know? But if I had to bet my life savings on whether or not Courtland's "fiance" Dina's ass will be showing up on Oprah in a few years talking about how she "just missed all the signs!," I would bet yes 11 million billion times.

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[Design on TV #4] The Golden Girls

Design on TV is a new recurring column that allows TV fanatics to step into their favorite show's world by offering up a list of real-life items that will allow you to trick out your place in that show's signature fashion.  Some people call it "homage."  Some people call it "sick."  We call it "entertaining."

Design on TV #4: The Golden Girls

Let's face it.  It's kind of crazy that a show that could be described as "slutty grandmas and their hilarious antics" could be so popular, but I know I'm not alone in saying that this show is seriously one of my favorites of all time. 

The geriatric hijinks of Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sofia proved that a bunch of broads in their 50's could make America laugh—consistently—for seven seasons.  And thanks to reruns on Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel, we ain't never gonna forget these ladies, long after they all die off (WATCH YOUR FUCKING BACK, BETTY WHITE).

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[Design on TV #3] 30 Rock

Design on TV is a new recurring column that allows TV fanatics to step into their favorite show's world by offering up a list of real-life items that will allow you to trick out your place in that show's signature fashion.  Some people call it "homage."  Some people call it "sick."  We call it "entertaining."

Design on TV #3: 30 Rock

When Tina Fey accepted an Emmy in the show's first year, she thanked her "dozens and dozens of viewers."  That's the kind of self-deprecation and irreverence that: 1.) makes everyone love Tina Fey and 2.) makes everyone love 30 Rock.

Everyone knows that 30 Rock is based on Tina Fey's own experiences as a writer on Saturday Night Live.  We follow Fey as Liz Lemon, head writer at TGS on NBC.  In the beginning, Lemon was often thwarted by her high-powered executive boss, Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin), but now they're buddies and they have the best boss/employee dialogue in the history of television (as in, "Hey, look at this video of a panda sneezing!  How adorable, right?  YOU HAVE TO FIRE 30% OF YOUR STAFF").  I could ramble on for hours about the hilarious hijinks of the folks over at 30 Rock, but let's just get to it.    

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When In Doubt, Decorate With Jelly Beans

So, as we all know summer is upon us! Many of you might be looking for some new and inexpensive ways to freshen up your decor, and embrace the warm weather in your own homes.

Luckily Kelly Kiloren Bensimon from the Real Housewives of New York has the answer: JELLLLLLLYYYYYYBBBBEEEAAAAAANNNNNNSSSSS!!

YAAAAAAAY!

Just because you know what Ikat fabric looks like and reupholstered an x-bench with your own bare hands, doesn't mean you have any fucking clue what you're talking about. Luckily, now you have Kelly!

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[Design on TV #2] Weeds

Design on TV is recurring column that allows TV fanatics to step into the world of their favorite TV shows by offering up a list of real-life items that will allow you to trick out your place in that show's signature fashion.  Some people call it an "homage." Some people call it "sick."  We call it "entertaining."

Design on TV #2: Weeds 

There are about a million cheesy things I could say about Weeds that would tie into the drug theme.  It's highly addicting, right?! LOL.  Give me a break.  It IS addicting, though—the show's creator, Jenji Cohen (am I the only person who reads that as "Jumanji" in my head?) originally introduced us to Nancy Botwin (Mary Louise Parker), a recent widow living in white suburbia. 

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