[YOU'RE WELCOME] Bangin' Hostess Gifts

When I cook for friends, it's generally assumed that I only expect them to bring the biggest bottle of the cheapest wine they can find.

But, for those of you out there that have a disposable income AND try to keep it classy (did you ever know that you're my hero?), you may want to show up to a dinner party with more than just a cheap bottle of hooch. 

You want to bring something thoughtful, something genuine.  Something relatively cheap and not too personal.

That's right, we're talking hostess gifts.   

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Who Gives A Shit: Nail Polish In Weird Colors?

I watch Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars, have read every Twilight book, and I'll even admit to thinking Justin Bieber is *kinda* cute, but for some reason, I gotta draw the line at weird nail polish colors.

And by "weird" I pretty much mean anything that's not some sort of variation of red, pink, coral. Like blue, green, yellow. OMGZ, and if you're using one of those colors AND you have sparkles in it!? I just can't.

For some reason, I am just far...and I mean F-A-R too old for that shit.

Just me? Are you guys down with the bizarro colored nail polish?

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[ROUND-UP] IN MY PLACE(MAT)

When I was a kid, my boring Republican relatives would buy me equally boring Republican gifts.  You know what an eight-year-old NEVER wants?  A placemat masquerading as a birthday gift. 

How does that crappy present get even WORSE?  When it's an "educational" placemat that lists every single US president in chronological order.  Eat your vegetables AND learn about William Henry Harrison! 

What FUN that was. 

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On Being Bold

While I can't easily answer the question "what's my style," and seem to have an ever evolving, sometimes contradictory opinion about what I like and what I don't like, I'm increasingly coming to realize that 9 times out of 10, what really gives me a hard on is this: being bold.

It's hard to describe exactly what being bold even means, as of course, it's different for us all. But for me I feel like being bold often means doing the unexpected thing...the thing that most people wouldn't think of and even if they did, they'd be scared to actually do it.

Like a black fucking sink. I mean, who does that!? ROMAN AND WILLIAMS DO IT, BTCHZ, THAT'S WHO. And if that sink doesn't make you faint, than you smoke far too much weed. Cause come awn! It's epic!

And it's in a fairly traditional looking kitchen with simple white cabs, and hello = BOLD.

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Target Collab With Calypso

HOLY SHIT I am deeply into this idea.

And I mean deeply.

Target is teaming up with Calypso St. Barth on a collection that is scheduled to hit stores on May 1st...right in time for summer! (and yes, ppl: that sounds pretty damn good to me as the 3rd blizzard in as many weeks dumps even more snow on nyc).

The collection will include clothing, acessories AND home decor! YEZZZZZ!

No final word on what all the decor items will include, but there are allegedly "candles, pillows and glasses." Prices will range from $1.99 to $79.99 for the entire collection.

Sidenote: having to deal with these designer collab releases AND living in NY is literally HELL ON EARTH. You ppl all over the country have your fancy, clean, big Targets with lots of shopping carts, and full shelves and all that jazz and we've got this shit.

It's hard out here for a pimp...jus sayin.

(via Daily Intel)

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