[FLIPPING OUT RECAP] Episode 2: Hard To Break Family

It's week two in the new season of Flipping Out, and since week one was a lame new-season-appetizer, we skipped rehashing it. But now, the season's really gettin' cranking. I'm so happy to be reunited with my favorite dysfunctional work family.

The big question this week is, how many times can Jeff's assistant Sarah screw up? Had I realized this was the theme early on, I would have played it as a drinking game, had a shot every time she made a mistake, and you would find me face down, ass up, passed out on my living room floor.

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 9: People in Glass Houses

FIN-A-FUCKIN-LY.

Yep folks, at long last it happened. We popped our individual challenge cherries last night, and is the case the first time most of us got laid: it wasn't as good as we thought it would be...but also it wasn't as bad as getting punched .

Most importantly WE DID IT TOGETHER PPL! I-N-D-I-V-I-D-U-A-L-L-Y! And isn't that what matters most??

So yes, two milliseconds before this entire fucking show is over, we got our individual challenges. Each of the remaining 3 designers, Casey, Emily and Michael were asked to design a glass box "sun room."

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 8: Ding Dong Dining Room Disasters

OK, LOOK.

I SWORE IN MY LAST RECAP THAT IF HGTV DIDN'T GIVE US SOME MOTHERFUCKING INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, MY ENTIRE RECAP WAS GOING TO BE WRITTEN IN ALL CAPS AS A SHOW OF MY BP OIL SPILL SIZED FRUSTRATION WITH THIS NONSENSE. AND SURPRISE, SURPRISE, THERE WERE NO MOTHERFUCKING, COCK SUCKING, TIT BITCH INDIVIDUAL CHALLENGES THIS WEEK, DESPITE THE FACT THAT THERE ARE ONLY FOURRRRR PEOPLE LEFT ON THIS BULLSHIT EXCUSE FOR A DESIGN COMPETITION.

WE ARE EIGHT WEEKS INTO THIS B.S. AND I STILL HAVE NO CLUE IF ANY OF THESE DESIGNERS ARE CAPABLE OF PULLING OFF A ROOM BY THEMSELVES. SO YEAH...IF IT SEEMS LIKE I'M SCREAMING AT ALL Y'ALL, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I SO FUCKING AM.

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 6: We Got Trumped

All I can say is: I fucking missed Mad Men for this??

[Yes. Yes I did].

Ok, so its week one post Nina elimination, and I may as well check in with all y'all to see how everybody else is doing?

Cause I'll tell you how I'm doing: I'm alsfjsa;lfjaslfjdaslfjdslfj (oh sorry, I just fell asleep as I was typing on my keyboard). As predicted, this bitch has turned into SNOOZE-A-PALOOZA, and had I not mainlined 8 cans of Diet Coke today, I'd likely be dead asleep on my Chesterfield right about now.

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'Flipping Out' In The Kitchen

House Beautiful is celebrating their "Kitchen of The Year" this week in Rockefeller Center. The kitchen was designed by none other than Jeff Lewis. I don't know about you guys, but I'm so excited for the August return of Jeff's show, "Flipping Out" on Bravo, that I've been color-coding my sock drawer and alphabetizing my spice rack in preparation. Because Jeff is anal, you see. That was a joke about me being Jeff-like.

I suppose it's hard for any kitchen to be impressive when it's full of 238 bored, sweaty tourists asking, "are there free giveaways in here?", but I was underwhelmed upon my entrance.

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