'Flipping Out' In The Kitchen

House Beautiful is celebrating their "Kitchen of The Year" this week in Rockefeller Center. The kitchen was designed by none other than Jeff Lewis. I don't know about you guys, but I'm so excited for the August return of Jeff's show, "Flipping Out" on Bravo, that I've been color-coding my sock drawer and alphabetizing my spice rack in preparation. Because Jeff is anal, you see. That was a joke about me being Jeff-like.

I suppose it's hard for any kitchen to be impressive when it's full of 238 bored, sweaty tourists asking, "are there free giveaways in here?", but I was underwhelmed upon my entrance.

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Design Star Roundup

Ok, so if you think my ass is the only one covering this Design Star crap parade, you are so very wrong. Though my recaps ARE a good place to start, there's way more #DesignStar shit you should not be missing.

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[A Girl Can Dream] Linen Closets & Fitted Sheets

Do you know how to fold a fitted sheet? Cause I have no fucking clue.

And I've watched Martha Stewart demonstrate this shit on her show....and have even googled. But every time I try it, even after following all of the directions, shit doesn't come out looking neat. And so then I just give up and I end up with an ugly, amorphous ball of semi-folded but not really folded sheetage. And it bugs me.

Also sidenote: I can fold the HELL out of just about everything else. I'm talking, I've received unsolicited compliments from peeps at J. Crew-n-shit after looking at v-neck sweaters that I've folded back into place.

A good way to tell if you're rich in NYC is whether or not you have a linen closet. Some people barely have clothing closets, so linen closets are few and far between.

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[COOL SHIT] Custom Face Stamps

If you live in New York City, you get knocked out by rampant narcissism on a daily basis.  Everyone loves themselves SO much (or, for the tortured souls—loves to hate themselves) that it's almost too much to handle. 

But how do you stand out from the pack of other arrogant d-bags?  A CUSTOM FACE STAMP, OBVIOUSLY.

Etsy seller LiliMandrill is hawking custom face stamps.  How does it work?  Basically, you send her a photo, she carves it out of rubber, and BAM!  You have a stamp of your face. 

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[DESIGN STAR RECAP] Episode 5: New York's Bravest Makeovers

I really loved the firemen theme of last night's show, and here's why:

• After watching the ep, I was extremely tempted to set my own TV on fire...and then my cable box that delivers HGTV to my apt...and then my own motherfucking face. YES, I WANTED TO SET THEM ALLLL ON FIRE.
• I think the entire staff responsible for dreaming up these assinine team challenges should all be FIREed.

Yeah, so obvs I was really feeling the whole firemen thing pretty hard. But that was the *only* thing I was feelin last night cuz SPOILER ALERT: Nina finally goes home!--and I'm actually pretty wrecked over it.

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